Chud's Laws of Happenings
Appearance

Chud's Laws of Happenings, also referred to as nothing ever happens, are the theoretical laws describing the likelihood of something happening published by Professor Rimfire in February 2025 after The Coal Coup, and are the current description of how likely something is to happen.
Laws
First law
Nothing ever happens.
Second law
Percent progress towards a major happening shall always increase closer to, but never reach, 100%, at which point something would happen, but by the 1st law, nothing ever happens.